This should, by no means, be meant as a volley of disrespect aimed at young Brad Evans, one of the less-heralded soldiers manning the front lines of Columbus' fantastic campaign.
But when a fellow named Brad Evans, a guy that few soccer fans outside of Ohio know anything about, is spankin' 'em in from 30 yards, you know that his team will be a powerful force in the upcoming MLS Cup Playoffs.
Evans' big strike, an absolute spot-on pinpoint effort Saturday, was enough to secure a win in the Crew's final regular season contest. It meant nothing in the postseason picture for manager Sigi Schmid and his men of yellow, who already had their playoff spot secure and had previously wrapped up the 2008 Supporters' Shield.
It was, of course, massively damaging to D.C. United, which had valiantly pressed the Crew in an effort to claim all three points and passage into the playoffs.
But for the Crew, Evans' strike was symbolic of something bigger, something that matters a ton forward into Major League Soccer's 13th postseason.
Indeed, this is a side that has Robbie Rogers regularly tearing up the left side. It has Eddie Gaven in a good rhythm on the right, a cop on the beat, getting up and down the flank and doing lots of useful two-way work.
And what can you say about Guillermo Barros Schelotto, among the league MVP frontrunners? The 19-assist man could surely have rested a bit more over the Crew's final two matches. But he went almost all the way in both, playing his way back into full fitness and form following a short injury absence a few weeks ago.
None of that even mentions first-choice striker Alejandro Moreno, who leads the team with nine goals.
And then there's Evans. With all that surrounding offensive chutzpah, it's easy to overlook the second-year midfielder, an Arizona native who appeared in four games for Columbus last year. And yet, he has five goals on the Crew's highly successful campaign.
Check out a partial list of highly respected MLS midfielders who have fewer than five goals in 2008: Brad Davis, Brian Mullan, Justin Mapp, Terry Cooke, Fred, Andre Rocha, Ronnie O'Brien and Amado Guevara. Again ... just a partial list.
Evans joins a couple of pretty darn good linkmen right on the five-goal rung: the Galaxy's David Beckham and Chivas USA's Sacha Kljestan.
Evans' Sunday strike was a classic. Running into space in the middle of the park, he took two quick touches to perfectly prepare the shot. He looked up to see United goalkeeper Louis Crayton, then expertly placed a curling, dropping shot that skimmed the inside of the left post. Perfect.
It secured the Crew's 17th win this year. Since 2001, only four other clubs have won more than half their matches. (Columbus' final 2008 record was 17-7-6.)
In the bigger picture, Evans' fifth strike is emblematic of Columbus' even scoring distribution, something else that makes Schmid's men so dangerous in the playoffs. Yes, Schelotto is the key to so much that goes on with the Columbus attack. Then again, the Crew took seven of a possible nine points in the Argentinean playmaker's three-match absence.
It's the distribution of scoring that helped Columbus so nimbly negotiate that stretch. Staring midfielders Evans, Rogers, Gaven and holding midfielder Brian Carroll contributed 15 goals this year.
Forwards, including Schelotto, who generally roams freely behind Alejandro Moreno, have 24 goals.
Chad Marshall has four of the six goals supplied by defenders.
The one contribution from center back Andy Iro was an important one, coming just before the break against New England back on Sept. 6. Columbus was dominating but couldn't quite turn the knife and the kill off the Revs. Iro's header off a Schelotto-supplied free kick in the 45th minute was surely a crusher for New England, which never came close to finding a way back after the break.
That game, an absolute back-alley beating, more than any other this year announced Columbus as perhaps the team to beat in 2008. Iro's moment was big.
So, 24 goals by forwards, 15 by starting midfielders, six by defenders, plus a couple of others from some of the versatile reservists. That means that Columbus will be difficult to shut down. Kansas City gets the first crack as playoffs begin this week.
TACTICAL CORNER
• Steve Nicol has even more head-scratching to do in New England regarding how best to align his squad for the home-and-away series with Chicago.
The lack of a suitable option at attacking midfielder, linked to Steve Ralston's injury, has caused problems at Gillette. Based on his recent set-ups, Nicol seemed to be leaning toward a 4-4-2 arrangement.
But Gabriel Badilla's ejection over the weekend will leave the back line a bit bare, most likely forcing Nicol back into a 3-5-2 alignment.
Otherwise, Amaechi Igwe or Chris Tierney, with just 10 starts combined this year, would be the options to join back line regulars Michael Parkhurst, Jay Heaps and Chris Albright.
Badilla's ejection could possibly be argued as harsh. But Khano Smith's dangerous and overly aggressive challenge on Herculez Gomez, apparent retaliation for an incident from a few moments earlier, can't be. Nicol admitted it was reckless. More importantly, for the playoffs, it leaves the Revs' manager with one fewer midfield option.
"Both players can't play," Nicol said of his two suspended starters. "We have to sort it out and find a way. We can cry all we like. I'll tell you this now, I'm not going to be crying between now and next Thursday. I'll moan about it tonight with you guys now straight after the game but after tonight it's gone and we start again and we kick on."
Mauricio Castro is likely to find a place in the lineup. With 22 starts the year, that's not a terrible place to turn. On the other hand, Castro has no goals and just three assists in that time -- not terrific production for such a skilled midfielder.
• Missing defensive midfielder Pablo Ricchetti, FC Dallas manager Schellas Hyndman turned to defender Adrian Serioux to fill the spot. The Canadian international has played that spot before, in few matches for Dallas and in spots for the Houston Dynamo two years back. These little tests are scattered throughout MLS at this time of year as teams assess and re-evaluate for important, looming choices.
Don't forget, the expansion draft happens Nov. 26 as Seattle looks for 10 players to pick off of 14 rosters.
• D.C. United manager Tom Soehn didn't wait long to make tactical adjustments as his team desperately hunted for a goal in the 0-0 deadlock in blustery Crew Stadium. Needing all three points, Soehn introduced Jaime Moreno -- a knee ailment had kept the recently retired Bolivian international from starting -- in place of defender Devon McTavish. But Soehn didn't change formations. Instead he kept the alignment but changed the personnel, favoring more attack-minded players.
Marc Burch moved from left fullback into the center to take McTavish's spot. And Ivan Guerrero retreated into the left back spot -- which put a more offensively skilled set of feet at that spot.
• Neither did Real Salt Lake manager Jason Kreis waste time to make his adjustments, as his men also stalked for the goal that would stamp their playoff passport. By the 56th minute, Kreis had added Andy Williams in place of the more defensive-minded Dema Kovalenko. Kreis later said he even contemplated making that move at halftime.
By the 72nd minute, the manager inserted forward Robbie Findley in place of defender Ian Joy, reconfiguring his team into a 3-4-3.
Interestingly, Kreis used all three subs and didn't have the late option of inserting Kenny Deuchar, Real Salt Lake's best aerial threat. As the minutes ticked away, an increasingly desperate RSL might have been better served to let Deuchar battle for earlier balls dropped into the penalty area.
Then again, it worked out pretty well for Kreis' side after all, as RSL turned up the goal that mattered and found a way into the playoffs for the first time.
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